Do You Feel Like You're Talking To Yourself?

"Sometimes I feel like I am just talking to myself."

You probably are.

Have you ever had a clear understanding with a co-worker on something that needed to be done in a certain way by a certain time and it just doesn’t happen?

Has a client made you a promise to do something and then just disappeared?  How many times do we have scheduling snafus, instruction breakdowns and just plain confusion in our daily work lives?

It would be rare if this doesn’t happen to you.  Communicating with people is much more complicated than just the words we use.  Communications breakdowns happen even if we are speaking the same language. 

Let’s look at English.  It’s a pretty easy language isn’t it?  There are about 500,000 words in the dictionary, but estimates run as high as 1.2 million words in total--with new words coming in everyday.  Many of those words also have multiple meanings.

Google used to be the name of a search engine, so it was a proper noun.  But if you search with Google the word becomes a verb.  You "Google" it.  (The word also is a mathematical term for a very large number, though you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone but your local mathematician who knows that factoid. You're welcome.)

Simple huh?  No.  The German and French languages each have only about 200,000 words.  Daunting to learn as a second language, to be sure, but simple compared to English.

The point is we cannot rely on the choice of words to ensure we are communicating effectively.  We live in a world of noise that forces us to listen intently just to comprehend the most rudimentary meanings.

We must learn to listen with our eyes, ears and emotions to communicate clearly.  Our observations must include body language, tonality and the nature of the person we are talking with far more than the words we use.

Do you think you are talking to yourself?  If you simply rely on the words, you are.  Then the common response once confusion occurs is “Didn’t you hear me?”  The question should be “Did you hear me?  See my meaning?  Understand my tonality and how did it register with you emotionally?”

What do you think?  I will listen carefully for your answer.